Frequently Asked Questions

Yes, you can absolutely change and heal alone.

And... We are homo sapien sapiens. We are not meant to be alone. And yet, “western” society creates isolation and says that if we don’t like it, there’s something wrong with us.

Beyond the pain of chronic isolation, society is not set up to support human health. We are inundated by advertising for and access to health-eroding foods. We live in a time of unprecedented chronic stress and systemic disconnection. 

Fewer and fewer of us have the knowledge, time, energy, or skills to make health-supporting choices or to be present with and supportive of one another.

Not everyone struggles, but I know that when I have made changes to my diet or lifestyle, it has caused problems in my relationships. Perhaps you’ve noticed, too, that your desire to take better care of yourself is often ignored and unsupported at best… or actively undermined, belittled, or resented at worst.

This outer dynamic often exacerbates an inward dynamic of confusion, indecision, and self-sabotage.

While I can’t pretend to have a magic solution for relationships, what we can create – together – is a consistently supportive online community where we can learn from and encourage one another as we each embark on our own healing journeys.

Additionally, healing our relationships to food and our bodies is foundational work. This journey can bring up a lot, emotionally and physically, and I believe that processing what arises can feel significantly easier and less confusing when we have support.

To the best of my knowledge and in my experience, true transformation of our relationship to food, to our bodies, to our Selves takes at least six months, which is why my membership is designed in 6-month cycles that can be repeated for as many rounds as desired. 

With each round, you will find your experience deepening and expanding. Like a beautiful spiral, each time you revisit lessons or practices, you’ll find yourself reaching new layers and new understandings as your homecoming unfolds.

Each cycle is a 6-month program with 6-years worth of content. You can (and are encouraged) to follow and expand on any threads that resonate deeply or spark your interest. Each lesson has plenty of “Recommended Resources” just for this purpose.

This is so much more than a course or community group about diet culture, food, and our bodies, it’s a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure journey into the depths of your Soul and Spirit.

The speed of your work and the changes you’re able to sustain will be influenced by several factors, like:

• The physical and emotional SAFETY of your environment. (While most people immediately assume they are “safe,” when we assess physical and emotional safety, we look at it from a physiological level – from the perspective of your nervous system. Don’t worry if this is confusing right now, you’ll know a lot more about your nervous system soon.) The safer your body and mind feel, the smoother and faster your journey will be.
• Whether or not you’ve endured acute or chronic trauma. “Big T” and “little t” traumas leave lasting effects on our nervous systems and force our body/mind systems to develop coping strategies, like emotional eating. Your nervous system will choose its healing timeline. While it’s not safe or helpful to try to “speed up” a trauma healing process, always remember that knowledgeable support, deep acceptance, encouraging witnessing, and loving care facilitate efficient and permanent integration of traumatic experiences. The more you’ve integrated traumatic experiences, the less you’ll need your coping strategies, and quicker your progression will be.
• Past experiences with embodiment practices that foster awareness of and connection to your bodily sensations (aka your “felt-sense”) will speed up your progression. These are practices like: Yoga (vinyasa, hatha, restorative, nidra, etc), Qi Gong, Taichi, Breathwork, Mindfulness, Meditation, dance, and even many sports; all of these can increase felt-sense awareness. The more bodily awareness you have, the faster your process will deepen.
• Tenacious protectors. All of us have diligent Protective Parts who often feel nervous about entering the “unknown” of opening up to healing processes or taking someone’s word that a particular technique works. Being vulnerable in this way feels (rightfully) risky. Connecting to long-avoided, deep seated emotional pain can be terrifying to our Protectors and it can take a while to gain their trust enough to progress. In our work, we honor the pace our Protectors need, and our progress reflects the trust we’re able to build internally.

I invite you to be kind and compassionate with yourself if your transformation takes longer than you hoped. You are welcome and encouraged to participate in as many 6-month cycles as feels nourishing to you. The information and practices offered deepen each time you work with them, so do not worry if your journey is longer than someone else’s. A huge aspect of your homecoming is learning to trust your body, to trust your mind, and the unfolding of your path, however long it takes.

This program will benefit virtually everyone hoping to improve their relationship to food and their bodies. However, because these relationships are so foundational and impact virtually every domain of our lives (and relationships), the healing work can go very deep, very fast.

Every workshop and practice in the Nourished Sanctuary Membership is trauma-informed, meaning that the content and prompts are sensitive to potential triggers. However, due to the nature of the topics we cover, feeling triggered or “dysregulated” is virtually guaranteed. You’ll be taught a lot of tools for working with nervous system dysregulation, but to embark on this work, you do need a baseline of internal stability before you begin.

A lot of people in the world have endured significant trauma and they might not be ready for this program and all it will bring up… yet. If you’re experiencing symptoms of severe nervous system dysregulation, please seek other support before signing up here.

Symptoms of Severe Nervous System Dysregulation:

• Chronic, severe anxiety and worry.
• Panic attacks.
• Uncontrollable fast or pounding heartbeat, sweating, or rapid breathing that can’t be calmed.
• Recurring severe depression.
• Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or serious suicidal ideation.
• Feeling completely numb to or dissociated from your body.
• Big mood swings that make day-to-day life and relationships very difficult.
• Unable to self-soothe or regulate during emotional stress.

If you regularly experience symptoms of severe nervous system dysregulation, you may benefit from additional support from a trauma-informed mental health practitioner. Once you’ve established care and trust, you can discuss with your practitioner if this membership journey could be right for you and how you can receive any support you may need.

It depends.

I do not diagnose or treat any mental “illness,” and that includes Eating Disorders. Psychotherapists and psychiatrists do that. I can’t tell you whether or not you have an Eating Disorder, and I can’t claim to be “treating” any diagnosed mental “illness," which means this membership (and optional 1:1 coaching) is not Eating Disorder treatment.

That said, a lot of my clients have disordered eating patterns and many have received official mental-health related diagnoses from psychotherapists or psychiatrists. Often, a Nourished Sanctuary Membership or 1:1 Coaching can be a wonderful adjunct (addition) to psychotherapeutic treatment for recovery from an Eating Disorder. You’ll have to feel into what is right and best for your body/mind system.

Sometimes joining the Nourished Sanctuary Membership or having 1:1 Coaching sessions can be too overwhelming to an already overwhelmed, dysregulated nervous system. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that you’re forever broken, it only means that you deserve more support from a qualified mental health practitioner you trust.

If you're currently working with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, talk to them about joining Nourished Sanctuary or exploring 1:1 Coaching. They can help you explore the potential benefits and risks in the context of your life.

Nourished Sanctuary Membership is $33/month and includes:

• 3 weekly live calls with Lily and other Nourished Sanctuary Members, including:
• One (1) live group Workshop
• One (1) live group guided embodiment practice and/or guided journaling worksheet
•  One (1) live group Open Space for questions, troubleshooting, and spot-coaching.
• A like-minded online community committed to unapologetic nourishment, diet culture recovery,  nervous system regulation, healing the roots of emotional eating, and coming home to our bodies and our Selves.
• Spend time in our community space to connect with folks on parallel journeys, ask clarifying questions, and give/receive caring support, encouragement, witnessing, and celebration.

No. I do not have the time or energy to respond to every question, post, or comment in our community Membership space and I never respond to direct messages or personal emails on any platform.

I wish I could. I wish I could provide the support that everyone deserves at all times, but it’s not possible and trying to burns me out very quickly. I prioritize less-frequent but high-quality connections with Members during our live calls (as I know how meaningful and healing this can be) and devote a limited amount of quality attention to other interactions. When I stretch myself too thin by making myself too available, I’m not able to show up meaningfully for anyone, which feels terrible.

I will be counting on each one of us to show up with celebration, acceptance, support, compassion, encouragement, and empathy for one another in our Community space, as much as feels good. When we do this, what we create collectively will be infinitely better than the support I could provide alone.

During weekly Nourished Sanctuary Membership calls, I’ll be available to offer as many answers to as many questions as our Q&A time allows.

Otherwise, I will continue to be fiercely protective of time for my own Devotional Self-Care, Courageous Inner Exploration, and lots of delicious connection with my beloved family. Which is a boundary setting practice I sincerely hope we all embrace!

Please be aware before you sign up that there is a set schedule for live calls and the schedule is the same every week.

***The Workshop will be on Tuesdays at 6pm Eastern, 3pm Pacific

Our Guided Embodiment Practice will be on Thursdays at 6pm Eastern, 3pm Pacific

Open Space Calls are on Fridays at 4:30pm Eastern, 1:30 Pacific***

I understand that a set schedule can be disappointing and inconvenient for some, but after much reflection I’ve determined that there is not a time that will work well for everyone in every circumstance or every time zone. But having a set schedule allows you to make recurring schedule adjustments and set a clear expectation with family, friends, or work that you’ll be taking these times off every week. This also saves us from having to update our schedules, calculate time-zone changes, and recover from “Oops, I emailed the wrong time for our meeting” occurrences every single week. 

Call recordings will be available for you to watch at your leisure.

Please also be aware that there will be occasional “off” weeks (during which there will be no calls) for all of us to integrate and rejuvenate.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is most often used as an evidence-based psychotherapeutic modality. Until recently, the IFS Institute trained coaches and bodyworkers in the modality alongside psychotherapists, which is how I received my training.

The IFS approach acknowledges our inherent “multiplicity of mind,” meaning that each one of us is an amalgamation of distinct subpersonalities, called “Parts” in IFS. These Parts interact with one another and with our “Self” energy, which lives at the core of us all, pure and undamaged. The experience of Parts is universal. 

IFS provides a simple (yet elegant) framework for connecting with, understanding, supporting, and healing these distinct Parts of us. This framework transforms our inner experience from a series of chaotic internal battles into a cohesive, collaborative partnership capable of fulfilling your unique life’s purpose.

If you’re curious and would like to dive in deeper, watch my video on IFS here.

You diligently stick to your diet all day. You meal prep, you plan, you review your vision board. And then – all of the sudden – you eat a dozen cookies.

From a unified mind perspective, this behavior is insane. It’s out of control and the solution is stricter control, stronger willpower, harsher consequences, and more information. I lived with this perspective for a decade, failing miserably each day. It is brutal and bleak.

From an IFS perspective, this experience stems from polarized protective Parts. One who protects through control, dieting, perfectionism, making us "acceptable," or some other unique intention. The other who soothes feelings of upset or overwhelm with food. Each of these protective Parts has its own strategy for protecting other vulnerable, wounded Parts. And each believes it is making the “right” choice for you and your unique life circumstances.

In IFS, the "solution" to this polarization is connection, validation, appreciation, compassionate negotiation, and healing our hidden, vulnerable wounds.

Targeted Coaching is laser-focused on very specific, measurable life goals, like increasing cardiovascular fitness, losing weight, improving work performance, or breaking a specific bad habit. In Targeted Coaching, the coach helps the client make a plan and teaches specific strategies to execute that plan. Targeted Coaching is very niche-specific; if you want to improve work performance, you’d hire a business coach, not a fitness coach.

Transformational Coaching is different. It guides you back home to your deepest, most essential Self, the core of who you are. Transformational coaching works with the Parts of you who resist, fear, or distrust this homecoming. It works with the Parts who have been wounded, alienated, judged, abandoned, and shamed until they lost connection with your core Self. Transformational Coaching paradoxically transforms who you are by guiding you home to the essence of who you’ve always been. 

In our Nourished Sanctuary Membership meetings, we practice a mixture of Targeted and Transformative tools, skewed toward values, desire, and goal-focused Targeted tools. 1:1 sessions are where the Transformational journey home accelerates.

No matter which style of coaching is best for your goals, Internal Family Systems (IFS) provides a comprehensive, flexible, clear framework to do the work you're ready to do.

Great question! 

Psychotherapy focuses on supporting people who are mentally or emotionally struggling to function, often due to traumas from the present or past. Therapy tends to be more past-oriented while our Membership Community and Coaching tends to be present and future-oriented. Our focus is less on how you got here, and more about tracking how you're currently functioning, what can change to ease suffering & struggle, and the exact steps that will help that happen. 

As our work deepens, your past will open and your understanding of yourself will deepen. However, as anyone who has gotten stuck in therapy or coaching knows, understanding the past is usually not enough to change deeply entrenched patterns in the nervous system. In our Membership Community and Coaching, we use a suite of integrated tools to catalyze transformation and healing on every level – body, mind, and spirit. This can quickly create major shifts in the way we live our lives, like the way we eat.

Usually, when receiving psychotherapy, the client receives a diagnosis. "Therapy" is generally more open-ended, working with what you and your psychotherapist feel is relevant to your treatment and stabilization. Psychotherapy’s primary “goal” is to help you achieve a level of mental health that allows you to function day-to-day.

Coaching supports people who are generally functioning well-enough and are ready to take their wellbeing to a higher level. Coaching has an agenda, a purpose, a North Star; it focuses on the life values, desires, and goals that you choose for your life. In our Nourished Sanctuary Membership space, our shared goal is transcending Diet Culture and transforming our relationships with food and our bodies. You'll be guided to tweak, customize, and build upon this shared goal in whatever way feels good, right, and true to you.

A lot of psychotherapies are dominated by cognitive methods, often called “top-down” methods of treatment. My work strives to balance somatic methods (body-based or “bottom up”) and cognitive work. With body-based methods, the mind’s understanding (the story) of our issues is balanced by the healing wisdom of the body’s felt-sense (don’t worry if this doesn’t make sense right now, it will after a few workshops!). In our work, we’ll follow the lead of the body and notice how the story intertwines and unfolds to expose deep-seated beliefs and burdens that are ripe for healing. It takes a little getting used to, but once you do, you’ll feel the profound healing ripple throughout your body.

In 1:1 Coaching, we hone in on resistance to our values, desires, and goals, using areas of resistance as trailheads for deep, transformative inner explorations. 

I use Internal Family Systems (IFS) as the framework for my coaching. This modality is often used by Psychotherapists (I received the same IFS-specific training from the IFS Institute), but in our Membership and Coaching, we use IFS in the service of moving toward specific values, desires, and goals. Because I have not received the more in depth training a psychotherapist has, the scope of experiences I can ethically support is (rightfully) limited. As such, Coaching is suitable for values and desire-guided inner explorations that cause mild-to-moderate unease.

Coaching is not suitable for inner-explorations that may cause severe overwhelm or retraumatization. Coaching is not meant to stabilize or treat severe nervous system dysregulation resulting from trauma and the agenda-driven focus of Coaching can make severe symptoms worse. If ever our work crosses the threshold into severe dysregulation or inconsolable overwhelm, we’ll need to press pause on our work so that you can seek appropriate support with a mental health practitioner.

Symptoms of severe nervous system dysregulation:

• Chronic, severe anxiety and worry.
• Panic attacks.
• Uncontrollable fast or pounding heartbeat, sweating, or rapid breathing that can’t be calmed.
• Recurring severe depression.
• Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or serious suicidal ideation.
• Feeling completely numb to or dissociated from your body.
• Big mood swings that make day-to-day life and relationships very difficult.
• Unable to self-soothe or regulate during emotional stress.

Absolutely not.

If you’re currently engaging in psychotherapy, a Nourished Sanctuary Membership or 1:1 Coaching will be an adjunct (an additional support) to your psychotherapy NOT a replacement. Talk to your therapist about the work you’d like to do here and discuss the benefits and potential risks in the context of your life.

For some of us, eating food and controlling or criticizing the body are primary coping strategies. We use them to manage day-to-day struggles, emotional upsets, and triggers from past trauma, sometimes major trauma. When we start to engage with or change these coping strategies, sometimes big, unexpected feelings emerge. 

While all of our work together (in the Membership Community and 1:1 Coaching) will be sensitive to and supportive of these big feelings, sometimes you’ll encounter feelings that need and deserve more support from a qualified and compassionate mental health professional.

The litmus test I use is the nervous system. 

If you notice symptoms of severe nervous system dysregulation, such as:

• Chronic, severe anxiety and worry.
• Panic attacks.
• Uncontrollable fast or pounding heartbeat, sweating, or rapid breathing that can’t be calmed.
• Recurring severe depression.
• Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or serious suicidal ideation.
• Feeling completely numb to or dissociated from your body.
• Big mood swings that make day-to-day life and relationships very difficult.
• Unable to self-soothe or regulate during emotional stress.

put Membership and 1:1 Coaching plans on pause and focus on receiving support from a competent, compassionate, trauma-informed psychotherapist until you’re feeling more resourced.

And when you’re ready, you don’t have to choose one or the other, coaching and psychotherapy compliment one another beautifully.