I know the desperate confusion of wanting to be “normal” about food and only receiving platitudes from “experts” about being more clear about goals and not having enough discipline. Or simply more information about why it’s good to eat a healthy diet.

It’s easy to know WHY it’s a good idea to eat healthy food. There are unlimited tips about HOW (buy healthy foods in bulk, batch cook, meal prep, prioritize simplicity, anticipate challenges, etc). But even with all of this foundational knowledge, “temptation” can eclipse our best intentions in the blink of an eye. 

When I asked my community about these moments of temptation, there were a lot of similarities: Emotional overwhelm, family pressures, academic and job stress, loneliness, shameful memories, feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness, exhaustion, or unwelcome anger. 

Some trigger activates a part of us that doesn't care about health or goals. It doesn’t care about anything except filling our bodies with food to eclipse a hurt. But as soon as food piles on top of the pain, shame blossoms, and it’s only a matter of time until the cycle repeats.

More goal setting and “accountability” is pointless; those become meaningless when the real triggers hit. Arguing with ourselves à la CBT isn’t effective. Diets, supplements, adaptogens, distraction, consumerism… none of these are answers.

Healing the underlying hurt is the answer. 

And despite many years of excellent nutrition, good sleep, balanced exercise, psychotherapy, bodywork, energy healing, and every other “healing” modality I could find, nothing had soothed my underlying hurt, I’d just gotten better at covering it up and controlling it with brutal inner criticism. This isn’t an approach I wanted to teach others.

I knew there must be tools to gracefully, respectfully, and lovingly resolve the internal battle between eating healthfully and using food to cope with the inevitable stresses of our complex lives. I just had to find them.

Fortunately, voracious knowledge-seeking slowly delivered a series of excellent tools that now make up the Nourished Sanctuary curriculum.

Theory

First was the Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, which explained how the nervous system responds to stress, overwhelm, relationship struggles, and trauma. The vagus nerve modulates stress responses and interpersonal connection as well as chewing, swallowing, and digesting. So it makes perfect physiological sense that eating food helps us effectively self-soothe. In fact, food may be the cheapest, safest, most widely available and socially acceptable form of self-soothing that we have access to at every developmental stage, from infancy to adulthood.

But just knowing the theory wasn’t enough to create real change. I wondered, how can we create more safety and new options for effective soothing in the nervous system?

Practice

Enter, Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB), brought to the public by Dr. Daniel Siegel. IPNB focuses on creating effective communication between brain regions, balancing neurotransmitter function, facilitating effective neuroplasticity, teaching nervous system resourcing skills to stay within the “Window of Tolerance,” and the resolution of trauma in the body and mind. All of this by integrating (differentiating and linking) various neural circuits in the brain, which often manifest as “states” or personality “parts.”

I dove deep into Interpersonal Neurobiology while studying psychosomatic transformational coaching in the Vital and Integrated Tantric Approach (VITA) methodology  developed by Layla Martin. IPNB helped explain why this methodology, which worked with “subpersonalities,” catalyzed such deep healing so quickly.

Even though results were good, I kept bumping into resistance in my clients and in myself that I didn’t know how to navigate, so I started exploring “subpersonality” and “parts” work more deeply, leading me to Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz.

The first time I learned about IFS, I thought, “Oh my gosh, this explains disordered eating perfectly.” Here was a framework that recognized and normalized that some parts of us want to be healthy and nourished, while other parts of us want to make our bodies desirable, and still others cope by eating until we’re so full that we can’t feel anything else.

And not only does IFS provide this recognition and clear theory, it also offers a comprehensive, effective, and safe framework for resolution and profound, permanent healing. 

Parts Work

I immediately signed up for several online IFS courses and applied to become an official practitioner. In 2022, I completed Level 1 training, followed in 2023 by a Level 2 focused on treating Addictions and Eating Disorders.

I studied diligently and integrated IFS into my self-work and daily life. I flowed into deep healing processes that have changed my experience of being alive and in my body. Anxiety relented. Persistent, recurring depression melted. Chronic nervous system dysregulation recalibrated. Lifelong relationship issues became workable. My relationships to food and my body finally felt completely and genuinely liberated. And I knew I had a very, very, very effective tool to confidently work with others.

But as I completed my 300th hour of IFS sessions and deepened my training, I noticed that progress with Parts stalls when there’s not enough connection to “Self” energy – our deepest, truest core essence, our inner light, our divine spark. It’s tragically easy to lose our connection with Self while we struggle to navigate the stresses and strains of our lives.

So I started searching for tools and techniques to actively cultivate our connection to genuine Self-energy. Fortunately, I didn’t have to look far.

Heart

I received a HeartMath Inner Balance heart rate variability sensor for my birthday and joined their Resilient Heart course focused on trauma resolution using “heart energy” as a core healing resource, freely available to all people.

As my daily Heart Coherence practice deepened, I felt it bring me home to my core Self energy again and again. Quickly, HeartMath’s suite of trauma-informed techniques became the foundation of my coaching techniques, as well as my personal Parts Work practice.

Daily Heart Coherence practice increases the “tone” of the vagus nerve and regulates brain waves into states of focused relaxation, helping us to stay within our “Window of Tolerance'' even while faced with our usual triggers. It also encourages the release of oxytocin from the heart, creating a physiological sense of profound wellbeing and safety.

With these practices, my suite of tools felt comprehensive and complete, each an answer to questions and common points of struggle in the other modalities.

Coming Home

These tools and techniques, lovingly woven together, bring us home to our truest Self, uncovering our sacred inner light and allowing us to offer deeply healing connection to even our most wounded Parts. 

We have each been blessed with the gifts of a body, a mind, and a spirit. During our lifetime, we have the opportunity to care for, nurture, and nourish every layer. When we do, the gifts of body, mind, and spirit are woven into our soul’s sacred Sanctuary, from which we blossom into being.

It’s the greatest joy of my life to bloom from my own Nourished Sanctuary to offer guidance and support in learning to use and combine these beautiful tools. I’m honored by the privilege to walk alongside you, providing compass and map, as you nourish your own sanctuary and arrive home.